


Cultural Misunderstandings

by TheAndorianMiningConsortium



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-21 09:56:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2464106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAndorianMiningConsortium/pseuds/TheAndorianMiningConsortium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom and Harry try to 'get to know' two alien women. Told from Harry's POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cultural Misunderstandings

“C'mon, Harry! Give it a try! What's the worst that can happen?”

Kim regarded his friend with a sceptically raised brow. “They'll beat us up, and throw us in their jail? _You_ heard what these Alparians are like! One wrong word and they lock you up, remove your limbs one by one-”

“Oh!” Paris scoffed back. “A minor risk, if I recall! What are the chances? C'mon,” throwing an arm around the ensign's shoulders, Paris directed Kim's attention to the pair of alien women that were the subject of their discussion. The two ladies stood a short distance away, engaged in a conversation of their own whilst they sampled the snacks that Neelix was distributing around the mess hall. To Kim, they were both extraordinarily beautiful- tall, stoically elegant, and with uniforms looked as though they had been specifically designed for the express purposes of enhancing every curve. One, Katalan, had a flowing cascade of platinum-blond hair that tumbled delightfully around her shoulders, and a pair of wide, almost glowing indigo eyes. The other, Toria, had darker hair that framed her freckled face, and lovely olive-green eyes. Apart from a few subtle patterns and markings that adorned their skin, they looked almost human.

“They've already said yes to joining us for a drink,” Paris went on. “Do you want me to go over there and tell these two lovely ladies that you've changed your mind?”

Kim heaved a sigh. “Al _right_ ,” he finally admitted defeat. “But at the _first_ sign of trouble-”

“We'll be out of there,” Paris agreed, grinning as he gave Kim a friendly slap on the back. “Don't worry, Harry, I'll protect you.”

With that, together they approached the two. Kim tried his best to appear casual as they sauntered up to the alien women, but he was quite certain that despite his best efforts, he had nervousness written all over him.

“Hello!” Paris greeted the ladies cheerfully. They both looked up. “Allow me to introduce my esteemed colleague, Harry Kim,” he gave Kim what was meant to be another encouraging pat on the back, but Kim could already feel his strength dropping to the bottom of his boots. “Harry's one of the most valuable members of our crew. Without him, our ship would probably be in a mess by now!”

“Well...” Kim paused, embarrassed by the gross exaggeration. “I... I wouldn't say _that_ exactly...” he attempted to mask his discomfort with a casual laugh, but it came out sounding weak and awkward.

Paris shot him a look that blatantly said: _Stop complaining and just play along_ , then returned his attention to the ladies. “So how are you enjoying _Voyager_?”

Katalan glanced to her friend and then to Tom. “It's a very fine ship,” she replied. “I have never seen such advanced technology.”

Toria was eyeing Kim with a look that made the ensign think that she was about to go for his throat. He tried not to think of all the horrible things he had heard about the Alperian legal system. “ _You_ are in charge of maintaining the ship's systems?” she inquired.

“Y- _well,_ I'm one of several officers that contributes to the running of the ship,” he replied.

“I am chief engineer aboard my ship,” she replied. She glanced at her friend. “Katalan is science officer.”

“What say we go and sit down?” Paris suggested, indicating an empty table close to one of the windows. The ladies shrugged and followed as he lead the way towards it. As they gracefully lowered themselves into the chairs, Kim took a seat beside Paris and tried to look as though he was comfortable.

“We are extremely grateful for the assistance you are offering us,” Toria stated, referring to the situation of their own ship. Heavily damaged, engines inoperative, the alien vessel had been drifting aimlessly in space when _Voyager_ found it. Captain Janeway had agreed to dispatch several of _Voyager_ 's crew to help them get their systems in order again, even going as far as to trade a little fuel in return for a few star charts.

“Oh, it's no problem,” Kim replied amiably. “All in a day's work!” he added. He hoped that didn't sound forced.

“Really?” asked Toria, her eyes brightening dramatically in the alluring, and somewhat unsettling way Alparian eyes did when they were annoyed. “The damage we sustained was a _significant_ problem for _us,_ before your ship fortunately happened to encounter ours. Are your people and technology so advanced that you may sweep our problems aside as though they are of no importance at all?”

“I... that's not... I mean, uh...” Kim scrambled helplessly for a second, until Paris thankfully came to his aid.

“What Harry _meant_ to say was, we are _happy_ to help you guys,” he smiled, smoothing over the faux pas with an ease that Kim found himself in envy of.

When both the ladies' faces softened, apparently satisfied with this explanation, the ensign allowed himself to breathe a tiny sigh of relief. “Yes, that's exactly what I meant!” he agreed. “ _Thanks_ ,” he whispered to Paris, then picked up his wineglass and pretended to sip on it for a second, so that he could avoid everyone's eyes whilst he gathered his thoughts.

“In fact,” Paris went on, “just a few minutes ago, Harry and I were saying how incredibly fortunate we are to have run into you. It's not often we get to meet such charming ladies as yourselves.”

Kim looked up. “We were?” as Paris shot him a warning glance, he quickly 'corrected' himself. “Yes, we were,” he agreed.

Katalan made a tiny smile, the first smile that had crossed the faces of either of the two women thus far – even if it did looks somwhat forced. “Because of the star charts we gave you,” she stated.

“Well, yeah, but not _just_ that,” Kim replied. “We like to meet new people, and learn about new cultures.”

“We have transmitted a copy of our database to your captain,” replied Toria coldly. “If she permits it, then you can research everything about our culture at your own leisure.”

Kim opened his mouth to reply, but Paris beat him to it. “Ah, but nothing compares to actually getting to meet you in person.”

“That's right,” agreed Kim. “Databases aren't as good as the real thing.”

“You think our database is insufficient?” Katalan asked. Beside her, Toria silently glared at him. “I suppose your mighty ship has databases that are far superior to ours?”

Once again Kim found himself scrambling to correct his error. “N... no... but a database can only tell you so much. It can't show you what it's like to meet someone face to face. You know... to talk, to hear someone's voice, to find out what they're like, what they feel like and smell like, that sort of thing...”

“You think we smell?!” said Katalan, aghast.

“You want to touch us?” chimed in Toria.

“No! I mean... uh...” Kim glanced toward Paris, desperately pleading for help.

Fortunately Paris was ready and willing to come to the rescue yet again. “I think what my esteemed colleague means, is that the pleasant sounds of your lovely voices, the smells of your perfumes, and all those other details, are all things that we would never get to learn about from your database alone. Your database intrigues us enough that we're curious to learn even more about you.”

Now Torial eyed Paris with a critical stare. “Why?”

Kim and Paris exchanged glances. “Uh, because we like meeting new people!” Kim said. “Especially friendly ones,” he added. The two women looked anything but friendly, he thought... but that was just their culture. At least he hoped so...

“That's right,” said Paris, smiling. “Perhaps later if you're interested, we can take you on a tour of the ship.”

“I should like to see Engineering,” Toria admitted.

“Don't you want to see something more interesting?” Paris asked. “Like the holodecks!”

“Engineering,” Toria replied firmly. “I wish to discuss some things with your chief engineer.”

“Yes,” agreed Katalan. “And I should like to see Astrometrics and the science laboratories.”

Paris sighed. “Alright, maybe later. But why don't you at least enjoy your drinks first.”

Both Katalan and Toria looked into their glasses, scowling. Turning to her friend, Toria remarked in a private, and yet rather loud voice, “I would not use the word 'enjoy' to describe this beverage.”

Katalan nodded. “Once we have been shown to the places that interest us, we can do away with these puny men.”

“Excuse me?” asked Paris. He softened the words with a lighthearted smile. “I hope that was some kind of a joke...”

“Tom...” Kim warned him. He'd only just noticed how long and finely filed Toria's fingernails were and was imagining them tearing a hole through his throat.

“No offence was intended,” Katalan told them. “Obviously the two of you are doing your best to be good servants, but you clearly have a lot to learn. We have been as patient as we can, but we _may_ have to submit a report to your ship's captain, with suggestions for how you can improve your methods, and learn the value of politeness toward your superiors.”

“ _Servants_?!” both Kim and Paris were startled, eyes widening in surprise. Kim almost dropped his wineglass.

Katalan glanced at Toria. “Our apologies,” she said. “We are not accustomed to your culture. I forgot. Your species prefers the word 'butler', is that correct?”

“We're not servants!” Kim protested.

“ _Butlers_ ,” Toria replied seriously. “I _did_ correct my error. You _were_ listening?”

“But...” Kim stuttered. “But... but...”

“... _Butlers_ .” Paris finished for him with a sigh, patting Kim sympathetically on the shoulder. “Well, if you excuse us, these two _butlers_ have other matters to attend to now.” He got to his feet, ready to write this off as a lost cause. Kim followed suit.

As Kim and Paris sadly made their way back to the bar to get their drinks refilled, Katalan and Toria turned to each other. “A shame,” Katalan remarked, watching the two with regret. “I would have enjoyed experiencing romantic relations with either those men.”

“Indeed,” Toria replied. “And I, too. Unfortunately, I don't think their culture is open to such things. And they weren't really interested.”

 


End file.
